The darkness is alive. Shadows stir and possess townsfolk, turning them into monsters and murderers. The light is your only hope, but it can last for only so long.

Alan Wake by Remedy Entertainment is an action psychological thriller video game for the Xbox360 and PC released in episodes. In it, gamers play as Alan Wake, come to Bright Falls, Washington on vacation with his wife Alice after two years of nightmares and writers block.

Immediately after entering the town, things turn strange. Alan picks up the keys to their cabin from a woman in widow’s garb (right) in the dark hallway of the town diner. After insisting on meeting Alan’s wife, he hurries out of the diner and gives Alice directions to the cabin. The two drive off as out of the diner a man comes running, holding his head and shouting that they’ve forgotten the keys to the cabin they rented.

After this, events only get weirder. Alice is terrified of the dark so when Alan and her fight over a visit with a psychiatrist and a typewriter, he storms into the night to catch his breath. That’s when he hears her screams and gets back to the cabin in time to watch his wife get sucked into the lake by an unseen presence. Leaping after her, all goes black for Alan who wakes up a week later on the edge of a cliff and without any memory of what has happened since Alice disappeared into the dark water.

Confused, worried, and surrounded by darkness, Alan has no choice but to hike from where his car crashed at the cliff and down to the nearby gas station. Along the way he encounters the Taken, men who have been possessed by the darkness. To survive, Alan must stay in the light and kill the taken before they kill him.

This is only the beginning. Where is Alice? What are the Taken? And why are their pages to a book scattered about the town of Bright Falls that was written by Alan Wake…but he can’t remember ever writing? With more questions than answers, the first Episode of Alan Wake opens with a bang and sucks you right in.

Unfortunately, the action part of the game isn’t as great as the story. In typical thriller fashion, players are given a limited amount of resources to defeat their enemies. This can leave a player without ammo – which means certain death as the Taken cannot be outrun. That wouldn’t be a problem if Alan could throw a punch – he can’t – or if the aiming wasn’t so shitty.

Players aim their weapons not at a reticle in the middle of the screen, but to where the flashlight is pointing. While you can aim the flashlight exactly where you want, doing so immediately uses up your battery – another quick way to end up dead. When not directly aiming the flashlight, the beam is pointed to the right and down a little bit – so the gun is as well. This is a massive pain in the ass during fights where missing twice means certain death.

So far, the story has more than made up for the iffy game play. Each new page of the mysterious manuscript keeps me on edge with a glimpse of what’s coming next. The story has me sucked in, questioning everything that’s said and seen and wondering who’s going to be Taken next.

Normally $35, the Alan Wake Collector’s Edition, including all episodes is on sale on Steam for $3.50 until June 3rd. For fifty cents more, gamers can pick up Alan Wake’s American Nightmare as well. I recommend any gamer to play this game – the twists and turns are worth it.

S.P.A.Z. – Space Pirates and Zombies. The name really says it all and convinced me from the start that the game would be amazing. How could you go wrong with space pirates and zombies? I don’t think you can, but MinMax Games capitalized on this idea and made a brilliant game.

I picked up S.P.A.Z. with the Humble Indie Bundle 6. Thanks to the name, it was the first game I played and my initial play through can be found here. The game starts out with you and your crew on Earth, just after you’ve finished building a giant mother ship that you’re planning on taking to the core of the solar system. Why? Because money, duh. You’re SPACE PIRATES. There’s just one teensy problem, the pathway between you and the core is blocked by gates that are guarded by the UAD. The UAD are basically the government, if you consider a group that is based solely in the system it’s in and at war with civilians a government. In the end, it doesn’t really matter who they are, they stand between you and payday and you ARE a pirate. So, like any good pirate, you get your space ship and go out and take what you need.

Since S.P.A.Z. is a top down, space combat game based around skill, battles against anyone standing in your way are pretty intense. You against the UAD or the Civilians pits whatever ship you’ve cobbled together with your limited resources against wave after wave of enemies that, frankly, can aim a whole hell of a lot better than you. Thankfully, the full physics simulation makes every successful battle a glorious explosion. This, along with the new hulls that drop every time you destroy a certain number of ship types, convinced me to fight more and only make friends to get new blue prints. After all, who needs friends when you can fly every type of ship?

Fear not my less blood thirsty gamers (*cough* freaks), space battles aren’t the only way to get past the UAD. I chose the “blast every thing and every one to hell” approach, but if you want to make friends you can just bribe them with rez – the currency in S.P.A.Z. – to let you through the gate. Making friends isn’t a bad approach either, as each faction – Civilians, UAD, and the mysterious Bounty Hunters (because space pirates and zombies were just not cool enough) – has item upgrades to sell you or will offer you trades.

Using the three useful commodities, rez, goons and data, you can quickly gather what you want and get rid of what you don’t. Data is the information dropped by ships when they explode that helps with research, i.e. the experience behind the game’s leveling system. Goons are the people on ships who eject in escape pods when you blow them up (or get blown up yourself). During or after a battle, you can pick up these pods up and forceably recruit them to work for you. Yeah, civilization has devolved so much that the people actively participate in slavery and, to be very non-politically correct, it’s hilarious. Your pirates are constantly throwing the goons out of air locks when they refuse to work for you and you can run over/shoot their corpses after.

For me, there was plenty to do with rez so I tended to hoard that commodity. Rez is the special mineral that is used to build your ships (after they’re destroyed or upgraded) and purchase plans for better items from the different factions. So despite my hoarding, I was always feeling a little short. Thanks to the extra currencies, I didn’t have to trade my data for more rez, but used all my excess goons to do just that and to accelerate my leveling. Tack on being a slaver to being a pirate for me, but now that I had all the nifty upgrades I needed to blast my enemies to pieces while forcing the goons on my ships to repair any damage I was taking, I wasn’t fussed over such uncivilized ways. In other words, the leveling system is robust enough to satisfy any style of play, because combat is in no way completely unavoidable, and I was using it to the fullest extent I could.

While I haven’t finished the game (thanks MoP), I recommend S.P.A.Z. to anyone and everyone. MinMax has created a game that is amazingly fun and not “just for an indie game”. This is definitely one of my favorite games of the year, so strap on your lazer beams and cannons, ready your whips and collars, ’cause we’re out to make some rez! And don’t forget to listen to/read all the dialogue, you’ll be missing out on comedy genius.

Cannibalism is bad! Say no to zombies!

A few months ago I lost my World of Warcraft, 2v2 Arena partner to Tera Online. The game was amazing! he said. It’s so pretty and the game play is so much fun! he said. It’s another WoW clone I don’t care about! I thought. Well, guess who ate their words last weekend? I’ll give you a hint: It wasn’t him.

Friday night I purchased and downloaded Tera Online, a new MMORPG by En Masse Entertainment that strives to give “true action combat” to players as well as give an active and interactive community. Currently a level 22 Sorcerer, I think they’ve succeeded, though I am tempering my enthusiasm for this game after the last half-successes of Rift and SW:ToR. I cannot give my full backing to Tera Online until I’ve seen the end game content, because an MMORPG is all about the end game content.

Story

The world of Tera Online is torn by war and strife. The Argons attack for no known reason and the armies of all the races have come together to keep them from destroying their world. Unfortunately, this has left the home front vulnerable to old enemies and new threats. Recently, an island has suddenly appeared off the coasts of the two continents, never before seen and holding its own powerful secrets.

The introduction (and the demo) drop you onto this island amid the screams of the dying and the sound of crashing waves. A grim scene, but this is my biggest criticism of Tera Online so far. The intro quest (and the demo, which IS the intro quest) is confusing, convoluted and fails as a tutorial on how to play the game. Players are given every ability of their class and told to go kill and fight mobs without any explanation of how the game works. For MMO veterans, this is challenging, but nowhere near impossible to get through. For players new to the genre, good fucking luck.

So with little information on your class, the abilities or now the new combat system works, you’re sent out to find Elleon. Who the fuck is that you ask? I had no idea. I found out about an hour or so later that he’s some big hero dude who lead the expedition to the new island, but we’re not there yet. You’re out to find Elleon – some guy – and where is he? Who knows! Go that way, kill the things, figure out your abilities on your own, and don’t die! I was not having fun. Still, the game was pretty and I wanted to see what was up so I plowed ahead.

Eventually, I found Elleon and attempted to fight a Big Ass Monster with him (That’s what the elites are called in this game. Did I mention its rated Mature?). After we kill the first one, suddenly a second one appears and he ate my face off. My screen went black and now I’m frustrated and pissed off because I didn’t understand what I’d even done to die, let alone how I was going to kill this thing once I rezed again. Then I get a cut scene. What’s the shit is going on? Suddenly I’m flying on a pegasus, being informed that Elleon has gone missing on the island and his brother is searching high and low for him. Apparently, it’s X amount of time later and I’m being sent back because they can’t spare veteran soldiers from the front because the Argons would break our line if they left.

Wait. What? At this point I had no fucking clue who the Argons were either, or what “the front” was, so I have no God damned clue what is going on in this game. Point off for Tera Online’s story telling abilities. Eventually, players do learn what happened and who everyone is and I’ll pass this information on to you. The island force you were a part of was routed, Elleon disappeared and you and two other guys survived the attacks by the demons. The Argons are the enemies of the Federation (something they also didn’t explain) which is the combined government that came together to fend off the Argon attacks. Considering this debacle of an opening, I can’t even say for certainty I’m right about all this.

Remember, the above is my biggest criticism thus far of Tera Online. Once actually on the island, the game proceeds as it should with no strange curve balls thrown your way. It actually teaches you how to play, how your spells work, how enchanting and socketing works, and has an engaging story line. Honestly, everything that Tera Online has for players is too much to get into in one post, so we’ll discuss the most innovative and interesting aspects of Tera Online.

The Combat System

Unlike Rift, SW:ToR, and WoW, Tera Online really does have an active combat system. What’s that mean? Simply put, if you want to dodge an ability or attack, you better be on your toes and moving your character out of its way. There is no dodge or block stats, to survive without being a lancer (the tank class) you had better be learning your enemies patterns of attack and getting your toon the shit out of the way. Especially when it comes to BAMs.

I think this is exactly the kind of system MMOs are needing. It’s the same formula, with a new twist that means you cannot scrape by barely paying attention to a fight. If you do, you’ll just die over and over until you learn to backstep or run out-of-the-way. I had a blast and group combat is even more fun.

The Loot System

The only other criticism I have about Tera Online is the loot system. Instead of looting a corpse, mobs in scatter their drops across the ground for players to pick up, like in Diablo 1 and 2. I say those and not D3 because that game gives specific loot to each player, while in D1 and D2, the loot just fell on the ground and was first come, first click. Pugging just turned into a hell on a whole new level.

While Tera Online does have a roll system, Round robin, which distributes loot to party members equally, it’s only when “rare and superior items distributed via dice rolls” is selected as an option. This does not account for your uncommon and common items, though, which are still first come first served. Playing a ranged class, I literally ended up with six items at the end of a dungeon thanks to this system – keep in mind that each mob drops three to four items and we’d killed dozens. Heaven help you if you have lag.

Races and Classes

If you’ve read this far, I assume you’re interested in what Tera Online has to offer. The races in the game are from left to right in the above picture: Castanic, Human, Aman, Popori, High Elves, Baraka, and Elin (not shown above). Or as I call them: Horned devil people, humans, what the shit is that, furries, elves, draenei, and pedo wet dream. If you want to learn more about them, look here.

What’s really interesting is the classes. On the website, they are listed in order of challenge difficulty and if they’re right, you’ll see few warriors tanking because that is supposedly the hardest class and vocation in the game. The other classes are Archer, Sorcerer, Priest, Mystic, Lancer, Slayer and Beserker.

The Archer is a sustained, ranged DPS class, rated a difficulty 2/5 by En Masse. The Sorcerer (my class) is also a 2/5 difficulty ranged DPS class that focusses on burst DPS. The Slayer and the Beserker are both melee burst DPS with a difficulty of 3/5, though the Beserker is also able to block incoming damage to ranged players if necessary. The healers are the Priest and Mystic, the former with a difficulty 3/5 and the Mystic with a 4/5. This is because the Priest is solely a healer while the Mystic is a support class, debuffing, buffing, dpsing and healing. The last two classes are the Warrior and the Lancer with a 5/5 and 4/5 difficulty respectively. The Lancer is an absorption tank while the Warrior can be an evasive tank or sustained melee dps. If you choose to be a Warrior tank, you better not have any lag.

Wrap Up

Hopefully I’ve given you a good idea of Tera Online and how awesome it could be. I can only hope that the end game lives up to the experience I’ve had so far and I suggest everyone go out and buy it to give it a try. If not, check out their website because there’s so much more that I didn’t touch on.

Oh, and the picture below? That’s an in-game screen shot of a city you can walk around. It’s fucking huge, but without the emptiness most huge MMO cities have. Go see for yourself!

Game of Thrones is an action RPG for the Xbox 360 and the PS3 published by Atlus and co-written by George R.R. Martin, the brains behind the books that have spawned all this craziness. My first criticism of this game is: Not as many boobs as advertised. Moving on from my tits fetish (Don’t judge me, you have one too), this game is phenomenal story wise, okay game play wise, but crashes and burns with animation.

See this?

Apparently people hate staring at that guy. The biggest criticism of this game is the animations during the multitude of cut scenes. This head (and the others belonging to people you talk to) doesn’t move much, has one expression (or has an intense expression that doesn’t match the dialogue), and his lips don’t match his words. In other words, it’s Elder Scrolls: Oblivion all over again. But people loved that game! So why do they hate this game?

My opinion is the criticism from this game come from people expecting more action from their action RPG. I can’t blame them for that, nor can I say that the animation isn’t shitty, because the animation is shitty. What I can do is call them immensely silly for expecting anything that has even the loosest ties to the Game of Thrones franchise to not have expansive dialogue, story, and cut scenes. Atlus would have been better off comparing this game to L.A. Noire or Heavy Rain as it’s closer to that style of game play than the Elder Scrolls or Dragon Age.

So far, this game is mostly what I expected: lots of people talking, less so me killing things. I actually cleaned my living room, set up my file cabinet and organized my files all while listening to the fully voice acted dialogue during cut scenes for the first three chapters. All this chatter is broken up by your own conversation selections and combat, but there’s still so much that it’s like listening to T.V. (I don’t watch T.V., I listen to it – stop judging me).

Besides having robust character dialogue, Game of Thrones has a complicated, in  depth character creation and leveling system. At the beginning of Chapter 1 and again at the beginning of Chapter 2, you create a character based on the main protagonist for those chapters. Not only do you choose his skill allotment, you choose his strengths and flaws, then begin work on the skill tree.

Skill allotment works as it does in most games and the skill tree isn’t anything innovative either. What I thought was a great addition to the game was  Character Traits. Players get to pick three at the beginning that are positive – Born Leader (bonus to allies), Gifted (extra loot), Bloodthirsty (bonus damage against enemies with the bleed debuff), etc. then have to balance those against weaknesses. Each strong trait had a point value based on its usefulness and a corresponding weak trait with its own point value. After players have balanced their values (equal point values on each side) this section of character creation appears to be over and done with.

Except it isn’t. As you go throughout the game, your conversation selections add Character Traits. My Red Priest got one called Devotion which makes him resistant to being caught on fire after I decided he would push his religion in every conversation (on a whim) and choose all of those options. The game recognized this and awarded me for that. My Night Watchman got sever Character Traits after surviving a vicious Wilder attack in Chapter 1.

Unfortunately, that was about the only really interesting thing about that Wilder attack because the combat system, while innovative, isn’t all that entertaining. With several abilities to choose from in the skill tree, it’s easy to discover combination attacks that deal massive damage and with three ability queue slots, it’s easier to execute those combinations. This ease also makes combat repetitive and boring, especially since the animations for the attacks are simple and uninspiring. They’re fluid, sure, but for the Unreal 3 engine, it’s truly lacking any razzle-dazzle.

For me, the story makes up for any failings in the rest of the game. Set before the beginning of the first book just as Jon Arryn dies, you take control of two characters – Alester Sarwyck and Mors Westford. The later is a veteran ranger of the Night’s Watch and the former is a red-robed priest of R’hllor who returns home after fleeing 15 years previously to attend his father’s funeral. I won’t spoil any of the story, but Alester is so far one of my favorite characters in an action RPG.

All in all, I name this game another niche buy. If you are in love with the Game of Thrones IP, get this game. It enhances the current story with its own, though it never overlaps the story in the books/T.V. series. If you enjoy games like Elder Scrolls or Dragon Age and can’t wait for the next game to come out, get this so long as you won’t sit there and nit-pick on how much better those two games are because those games are better game play wise, if equal to Game of Throne’s story. That being said, if you don’t give a damn about the IP and dislike action RPGs, this game is clearly not for you.

Enjoyable, but lacking in some areas, the Game of Thrones RPG will not disappoint fans of the ever growing IP, but the animations may make them cringe. If you can’t stand the animations either, try doing something else while listening to the dialogue. It’s working for me, but then again I listen to T.V. instead of watch it.

Shin Megami Tensi: Devil Survivor Overclock is a tactical RPG for the Nintendo 3DS. Published by Atlus, it is an enhanced port of the DS game, Shin Megami Tensi: Devil Survivor. For those who aren’t familiar with Atlus, the company commonly re-release their games, but always gives players who enjoyed the original content a reason to spend their money again. To do this, they enhance the original game with slightly improved graphics,  new story lines, and new music. New features for Overclock are: an added 8th day, as opposed to 7 in the original release; improved, higher-resolution visuals; full voice acting; the ability to choose different difficulty settings; and an increased 20 demons to fight with.

Set in Tokyo, players take control of the Hero (left) as he meets his friends Yuzu and Atsuro. You’re supposed to meet up with your cousin Naoya, but he never shows. Instead, he’s given Yuzu “COMPs” (which look exactly like your DS system) for the three of you to have. Atsuro (being the lovable, too-smart for his own good sidekick) decides to hack the devices which triggers an email telling the future being sent to the three of you.

Yes, email that predicts the future. This is an Atlus game and it is set in the Shin Megami Tensi universe, so immerse yourself and don’t ask too many question or your head will explode.

Yuzu (right), being the stupid, large tittied girl that she is, is certain Naoya is playing a prank on you guys and wants to go see him right away. Of course, one of the things that email predicted was a murder that just happens to be at the same building Naoya lives in and you meet him just outside.

After being vague and warning of things to come, he runs off and leaves you guys holding the bag. Trapped by the government inside the Yamanote Circle, your trio learns (thanks to the protagonist’s ability to see a person’s “death clock”, representing how many days a person will have left to live) that everyone trapped with you is going to die within six days. That’s not the only thing you learn, you learn that the COMPs can summon demons after being attacked by three and defeating them and you’re all going to die tomorrow. That sets off your quest, save yourselves, escape and save everyone else. Along the way, you meet several other characters who will battle with you or share their story.

While the game play is amazing, the story of Devil Survivor (as with most Atlus games) is where this title really shines. Critics of Heavy Rain will probably dislike this immensely as there are many scenes where all you do is listen to the phenomenal voice acting. Because of this, I also recommend the 3DS version over the DS version which doesn’t have full voice acting.

Combat is a combination of tactical and standard J RPG formats. When in battle, the player takes turns with the other characters to defeat individual enemies and satisfy mission objects. Missions generally consist of defeating many demons in an area, completing other mission objectives like rescuing helpless characters, and mission failure results in death. Enemies and players control a squads composed of one leader and two supporting creatures. Each turn, a squad can move and attack an enemy like in any tactical RPG. During their turn, the members of a squad can also perform one additional action such as healing, buffing, disabling the enemy, or summoning a new demon to replace an unconscious one.

The player controls up to four squads. Each is led by a major character with summoned demons as their supporting units and the enemies faced in the game are similar, with squads of demons or a demon tamer with their owned summon demons. Each leader and squad member has up to seven abilities at their disposal: three active ones which are chosen as combat actions; three passive ones that boost the demon/human’s strengths and weaknesses; and a final slot for a buffing or RNG ability, such as being able to move a second time during a turn after combat.

There are many abilities and they are all learned in different ways. Demons learn them through leveling up, when the player trains the demon in a new ability after defeating a certain number of enemies, or by inheriting the ability from one of the two demons used to create it during fusion (the process of combining two demons to create a new demon). Human characters gain these by  using skill cracking on demons or other opponents they face. To crack a skill, the player targets a specific skill that a specific unit has on the field before battle. Each character is given their own skill to crack and they must defeat that unit to succeed in the crack. Other characters defeating the unit will cause the skill crack to fail. Once a skill is cracked, the player can assign these skills across to all other characters they control.

To attack an enemy, the leader has to be standing next to it. After moving and then choosing to attack an enemy, the game switches to a more traditional JRPG system. Players select one action for each squad member and AI does the same for its squad. Extra turns in this rotation can be earned by certain actions in combat, such as striking at an opponent’s weakness (fire, frost, darkness, etc.). While any member of the squad can be targeted, if the leader is taken down to zero health, the entire squad becomes falls unconscious even if the two supporting units remain healthy. The leader is also stronger while either of his squad members retain health.

Defeating individual foes in battle gains experience points for the player and their squad mates, as well as macca (the in game currency). Extra experience is gained if a player removes the enemies supporting squad members before attacking the leader. Obviously, this can also lengthen battles and can give time for enemies to heal themselves to full, so players have to be careful how they play. Completing a battle sometimes earns additional experience and macca for all of the leaders and squad members. It also completely revives any fallen units without the need to rest or heal with items so players can go right back into battle after completing one.

While engaging and complicated, like I said previously, this game is about the story. Players explore the Yamanote Circle as they like, but events are on a time line, like in Dead Rising. If you miss an even because you were talking to someone else, story lines change, characters can die. The ending you get can also be changed, though conversations are not the only factor in that. Oh, and did I mention your cousin is one of the bad guys? This story has more twists and turns than a roller coaster.

The graphics are low key, but clearer in the 3DS version, but actual cut scenes are rare. I haven’t had trouble with this because of how great the voice acting is (how many times have I said that so far?). The music is catchy and adds to the scenes, with the main theme stuck in my head now.

Maybe because I’m an Atlus fan girl (obligatory Atlus squee), but I find this game amazing. I doubt it that’s the reason, but I figure I’ll throw it out there anyways before I declare the game a Must Buy. Really, the only problem with Devil Survivor Overclock was trying to find find a copy of it at a local game store. So if you want it (and you know you want it), try to find it online.

The Record of Agarest War is a tactical RPG made by Aksys Games for the Xbox 360. I have spent three hours in this game so far and I think I will really enjoy the rest of it. That is, if I ever pick it up again as it doesn’t have a draw to keep me engaged.

The graphics are very simple with all animations done as sprites, no cut scenes, and the best art being anime style, 2D portraits that players collect as the story progresses. This is in no way detracting from the game, but compared to other games it is certainly lacking something. The game play is phenomenal and the difficulty level is steadily increasing. So far, the terrain is a simple, even, square grid. Combination attacks can be created by using certain moves as well as with multiple characters which allows for plenty of strategy with moving characters, getting them to attack sooner, and combine damage to kill enemies.

Unfortunately, the map and travel system is rather outdated with the main character’s sprite moving from point to point along a set line and the word “event” over the dots if something related to the main story occurs there. It is really a shame because the expansive world is reduced to a boring looking map and occasional bland backgrounds during “cut scenes.” It is a stretch to call the scenes where the characters interact cut scenes because they’re really just portrait images and dialog boxes while the sprites move around and occasionally do different animations like pull a sword or fall on their ass.

In the end, it feels like the game was intended as a handheld game, but ended up being too large to fit on that media. It also feels that the game was not originally meant to be ported to America. I am certainly not one to complain about ANY Japanese to America ports, but the voice-acting being completely Japanese will be off-putting for some players.

This is definitely a careful buy. If you like tactical RPGs, alla Disgaea, you will enjoy this game provided you can stand the foreign voice acting. I am looking forward to collecting the portraits of the characters as they were really well drawn and learning how to work the tactics to my advantage. But these are just game mechanics. The actual story is a giant cliche and simply not engaging, not to mention boring. Hopefully, the game play continues to entertain as there isn’t anything else making me want to pick up the Record of Agarest War again.

Except maybe the tits. So after hunting for some pictures of this game, I discovered it’s apparently caused a mild scandal. The collectors edition had a mouse pad where you could rest your wrist on one of the female characters tits. Yes, on her cleavage. It also had a different cover of two girls in towels and a print where you could see up her dress. Other screen shots of those 2D portraits had lots of cleavage and suggestive themes.

Pardon me, I’m going to go finish this game now.

There’s no gameplay differences I can see, though the graphics are moderately improved over the previous versions. I’m still checking every trashcan, every TV to listen to the silly programs that are on, talking to every one to hear what they have to say. It’s great and I don’t just mean because of the nostalgia factor. It’s the story that really gets me, though I’m not sure the developers meant for me to enjoy it like I do.

The story starts with you getting your Pokemon, dueling with it and destroying your bedroom. After that, things take a humorous turn and where I’ve been having the most fun. Your female best friend’s father doesn’t want his ten year old child running off – alone – into the great world she knows nothing about. He screams and shouts at her and she runs away. All children have to lean about themselves and their world all by themselves, after all, so her mother isn’t fussed. Right after that, you go to the Professor and she introduces herself – again. Your male bestfriend immediately comments on how they’ve known her forever and know her name. This kind of interaction continues, something stupid is brought up and one or the other comments on it. I can’t stop giggling.

That’s not the end, though. Team Plasma, the “bad guys,” are out to “liberate all Pokemon” from being held captive in Pokeballs. Yes! Someone is finally going to save the poor Pokemon from slavery to humans. There’s even a new character that can talk to your Pokemon and knows how they really want to live. It’s pretty awesome.

I’d give this game a Don’t Rush recommendation. It’s definitely the best Pokemon game I’ve ever played (and I’ve played too many) because of the comments and story line, but it’s still just a Pokemon game. If you’re not interested in playing another or picking this up for the first time, don’t bother, but if you want to play a new version with a lot of tongue in cheek – grab this.

I picked this game up because the Market Place has been telling me it’s such a great game for about two weeks now. And for $.50 I can’t really say I’m disappointed. It’s fifty cents, people! This game has been on the market for three months and while I haven’t played any of its counter parts on the PC or Wii, I’ve heard amazing things about this game and so far, it’s lived up to its reputation.

For those who don’t know, World of Goo is a puzzle game where you stretch little goo balls into patterns to create a structure that needs to reach a pipe somewhere on the screen in a certain amount of moves. Physics are implemented very well so if your tower is too heavy on the left side, it’ll bend and eventually topple over. Also, if you have to cross a gap, your structure will dip further and further into the hole if you don’t have a balloon to hold it up.

I’ve yet to do any patterns that are not a lot of triangles stuck together, but I would assume you can create squares and rectangles if you try hard enough.  Several gimmicks are used to make levels harder, such as goo balls “sleeping” on another part of the screen and you have to stretch your structure to reach them, or spikes that will pop your balloons when you’re trying to create a bridge across a large gap. These gimmicks have yet to be cheap or overly annoying, adding a nice level of challenge to otherwise static levels.

The music is fun – a bit startling as I did start playing this game in the middle of a meeting (woops) – upbeat and really catchy. The graphics are cartoony, but bright and cute with zero lag no matter how many goo balls I had swarming over my structure. Touch screen controls make things a little finicky and the inability to unstick most balls once their in place can be a little annoying, but it’s just one more level of challenge added to the game (the reset button has zero penalties for starting a level over from scratch, so just click that if you put too many pieces in the wrong place).

So far playing this game, I give it a Don’t rush. It’s a good game – better than Angry Birds as it’s easier to stack than to hope you’re hitting that sweet spot before you fling your bird – but it’s not an amazing game. If you’re looking for an entertaining, slightly addicting puzzle game for your phone, pick this up, but if you’re not, you’re not missing out on much.

As Mass Effect 3 loaded on my Xbox, I sat back, calmly waiting for the game to start. Of course, this was interrupted by three separate updates to the game and I got to sit for a long time before being able to click that New Game button. The first chime took me back to the very first time I played Mass Effect 1 and the excitement started. Who can forget that noise? Leaning forward eagerly, I waited for my port to go through but then my save from ME 2 didn’t port correctly and I got to spend ten minutes recreating my Jane Shepard from scratch (her nose still doesn’t look right).

So, finally, after nearly a half hour of waiting, the opening cut scene started – and I was hooked. As Commander Shepard once again, it was my job to smack the stupid Alliance Council into doing something about the nefarious Reaper threat. Did they listen to me? Well, they probably thought they should have all along when a Reaper blew the fuck out of the chambers we were in and killed them all.

Yes, that’s right, the game starts out with you nearly dying as Earth is attacked – no decimated – by the Reapers invading force. The little girl you were watching playing from your room? Oh, she’s dead. The friends and family of most of your crew? Them too. And in this game it’s not just being told, “Hey, we don’t stand a CHANCE against this enemy,” you see it firsthand. As I ran down the outside of the tower where I had been , I looked out to watch a Reaper ship zapping and blasting its way through a thriving metropolis, ship after ship dogfighting above me while molten meteors hurtled their way through the sky. Let me remind you, I’ve been playing for less than ten minutes thus far and ever since, the action hasn’t relented once.

I’m not going to spoil more of the story for you, but I will say that fans of this series will not be disappointed. The game play is the same combat from ME2 (sadly for those of us who miss ME1s combat system) as is the upgrade system, though the weapons load out gives the player many more choices of how to play their shooting game (supposedly there are power upgrades like the weapons load out, but I haven’t gotten there yet). Moving from cover to cover is more fluid than ever, while the companion AI is, in all honesty, still a little finicky, it’s nothing that a little micro managing can’t overcome.

The graphics are gorgeous and when you play this game, remember to look out over every vista and out of every window because Bioware has done a remarkable job of populating the world around you with stunning vistas and views of the Citadel that make the Mass Effect world more real than ever before.

And let’s be honest, part of the reason I’m so enamored with this game is that right off the bat you’re thrown into creating relationships with these characters or furthering the ones you’ve already met. Since I romanced Kaiden, our initial meeting outside the council chamber was rife with tension and delicious awkwardness. Then back on the Normandy after my first mission, I got into a sparring match with the new character, James Vega, where I tried to beat the survivor’s guilt out of him. I got some face time with Dr. Chakwas and my favorite character Joker, not to mention the multitude of other familiar faces that popped up to say hi.

So far, I give this game rave reviews and insist that if you’ve ever been a fan of any kind of RPG, pick up ME 1, 2 and of course, 3. You will not be disappointed. As to those of you who played ME 1 and 2, why the hell haven’t you bought 3 yet? Get playing! We have to save Earth, people! These damn aliens sure aren’t going to do it.