Uncharted: Golden Abyss Finished Review

11 Mar

Uncharted: Golden AbyssUncharted is a game that’s been talked about for several years now, ever since Nathan Drake went on his first adventure on the PS3. Naughty Dog has been lauded for its beautiful mixture of graphics, gameplay and story telling so much that I, for one, regretted never getting my hands on the first tow Uncharted games before my ex ran off with the PS3.

That being said, I picked up this game expecting not to understand some things. Sure enough, the game started me out in the middle of a jungle ruin, fighting against some guys for whatever reason, and with no idea why I (Nathan Drage) was there or what I was looking for. Figuring that I’m missing something from the PS3 games, I continue through the tutorial without a worry. Turns out, no one playing this game will know why the fuck Drake is here when they first pick up the game or what he’s looking for in these ruins. Way to go, Naughty Dog. Eventually, I got through tutorial and into the actual story of Golden Abyss which did live up to what I have heard about Uncharted’s storyline. There was just one problem, the game play sucked. Hard. The story and lovely graphics only barely make up for the unchallengeing and/or frustrating gameplay.

The platforming segments are broken up by puzzle solving and shooting segments. I use puzzle solving loosely as it’s really just a hunt and search to find the items and picture locations. The only interesting part of this is how the touch screen is used to simulate cleaning dirt off artifacts and take rubbings of symbols off statues. Interesting, but not fascinating. This isn’t the only way Uncharted: Golden Abyss uses the PS Vita’s touch screen. The zoom on Drake’s camera, tapping objects instead of walking up to them and pressing X, slashing down bamboo by swiping your finger in the instructed pattern, and the most ridiculous – tracing the path you want Nathan to follow when platforming. Yes, you trace along the screen, then sit back and watch Drake do all the work. How thrilling.

The shooting segments could have saved this game, except the controls are too responsive and it makes it really hard to aim. On top of that, it can take two head shots and up to seven body shots to kill an enemy. The enemy AI is nothing to scream about either.

I have not finished this game and I doubt I ever will. There are so many other things I could be doing that are way more fun, Uncharted: Golden Abyss just seems like a waste of my time. That’s why I’m giving it two and a half screaming Jan cats. I don’t want to play it, but it’s not a terrible game, just a really mediocre one.


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